PatPat’s League 2017

Draft Day

Date: Thursday, August 31, 2017 (Raindate: Tuesday, September 5, 2017)
Place:
Nate’s Place (Address in Google event)
Reminders: 
Wear your jersey. Potluck. $20 buy-in. Michelle was the league champion last season!
Draft style: Offline. Serpentine.

2017 DRAFT ORDER

1 – Paula – paid dues
– PatPat – paid dues
3 – Pat – paid dues
4 – Eric – paid dues
5 – Nate – paid dues
6 – Paolo – paid dues
– Karthi – paid dues
– Michelle – paid dues
9 – Joey – paid dues
10 – Johnny – paid dues
11 – Stef – paid dues
12 – PJ – paid dues, added $30 to draft potluck

2017 DRAFT DIBS ORDER:
1  Paula
2 – PatPat
– Pat
– Eric
5 – Nate
6 – Paolo
– Stef
8 – Karthi
9 – PJ
10 – Johnny
11 – Joey
12 – Michelle

Draft Rules
DRINKING WHILE DRAFTING IS WELCOMED.
Must sign Sacko contract and pay dues before drafting.
Commish will provide ADP rankings and blank roster sheets on printed sheets of paper and pens.

No timer. If you are taking too long to make your pick, managers are allowed to physically and verbally assault you.

Draft pick trades are allowed.
5-10 minute break every 5 rounds, if necessary.

League Settings

League link

League settings link
This is fun, yet competitive, league that accepts noobs and perceived pros!
12- team non-PPR H2H league
13 week season, 3 week playoff with top 2 seeds having bye week
Roster Positions: QB, WR, WR, RB, RB, TE, W/R/T, K, DEF, BN, BN, BN, BN, BN, BN
Max acquisitions per Week: 6
Max Acquisitions for entire season: 35 (due to Paula rule)
Trade end date: November 11, 2017
Trade review: Commissioner
Waiver priority: Continual rolling list (meaning waiver claims are processed in waiver priority order)
Waiver rule: Game Time – Tuesday (Unowned players will be placed on waivers at the scheduled start time of their game until Tuesday)

League pick ’em link

Rivalry Week: Week 11

More details to follow.

Sacko rules
A contract will be signed, either electronically or physically, by each manager before the start of the season’s draft. The contract will contain details of the season’s Sacko punishment. The Sacko must perform his or her or its punishment no later than two months after the end of the fantasy football season (i.e., Week 16). The consequence of not performing the Sacko punishment within the required timeframe will result in expulsion and permanent ban from the league.

Communication
Workday and everyday chat will be on Google Hangouts.
The Commissioner will make major announcements through GroupMe and, in a more formal manner, via email.
TRASH TALK AND RIVALRIES ARE HIGHLY ENCOURAGED.


Prizes, Bets, and Sacko

Payout
1st place: buy-in X 8; championship trophy with name etched on plate!
2nd place: buy-in X 3
3rd place: buy-in

League Pick’ em prize: $15 Amazon gift card (formerly $5)
(last year’s winner was Joey)

2017 Sacko punishment
• Eat a Carolina Reaper
• Poop in a mall parking lot on Saturday afternoon
• Shave eyebrows off
• Wax your legs
• Run the gauntlet 5(???) times (in a bathing suit???)
• Create a legit dating profile on Tinder/Bumble/OKCupid/Coffee Meets Bagel and go on date with “worst” match made in 96 hours.
• Ribbon dance in leotard to Fetty Wap’s Trap Queen or another worthy song
• Hot ones sacko punishment: Do a hot ones interview. Must eat all of the hot wings on the show in increasingly spicy order. Another person, possibly the season champ, will be Sean, except they can eat wings of their choice. This person will interview the Sacko asking shaming questions such as why their team sucks, why they are terrible at fantasy football, etc. The Sacko must take these questions seriously and answer sincerely.
• The loser of the league is required to dress up as a carrot and race to selected bars to chug one drink then dash to the next. Fifteen minutes later, the member who came in second-to-last place takes off in a rabbit suit to do the same with their own 15-minute head start before the rest of the league follows. If the rabbit catches the carrot then the carrot pays the tab. If the league catches rabbit, the rabbit pays.
• Remake Anaconda video, especially the Drake part with the League Champion
• Dresses up in a maid outfit and serves everyone throughout the game

League Bets
Week 3:
Paula vs. Nate – loser posts on Instagram a picture wearing winner’s team’s gear and holds a sign of team’s slogan. PAULA LOSES!
Week 6:
Karthi vs. PatPat – loser must purchase shirt with custom design created by winner
Joey vs. Nate – loser takes a photo of themselves decked out in rival team’s gear and post it to Instagram with rival team’s slogan. PLUS TWO SHOTS.
Week 8:
Karthi vs. Johnny – loser must wash winner’s car
Week 9:
Karthi vs. PJ – Loser  buys the winner a Chick Fil A Sandwich


League suggestions

1) FAAB waiver w/ continual rolling list tie break
Current state: When placing a waiver on a player, the team that gets the player is the one with the higher waiver priority.
New state: Every manager starts of with the same acquisition budget for placing blind bids on waived players. The manager with the highest bid at the end of the waiver period claims that player and that bid amount is deducted from the team’s acquisition budget. For example, the acquisition budget is set at $100. Three managers place a bid on a waived player: $20, $20, and $19. Since there is a tiebreaker, the team with the higher waiver priority will get the player and, thus, be placed at the bottom of the waiver priority list.

2) Auction draft

3) Keeper league – Each manager is allowed to keep a certain number of players the following year

4) Let’s do it big for draft day! Draft destination or rent a room to do the draft!

5) Challenge flags. For managers who cannot make the draft, all managers who draft in person are given one challenge flag which can be tossed (with excessively dramatic effect) to reverse an auto-drafted pick for an absentee manager. The auto-drafted pick is reversed and the next highest ranked player is picked instead.

6) Take a shot during draft night every time you draft a player from a rival division team of your favorite team. For example, you take a shot if you draft a player from the Cowboys when you root for the Skins.

7) Consequences for missing events?

8) Adding IR spot to roster

Previous Sacko punishment suggestions:

  • Bikini wax
  • Eat a Carolina reaper

History

Current Champion – mmmbers members

Michelle of the House Bersaballin, the First of Her Name, The Champion, Queen of the League and MoCo Top Three, Khaleesi of the Adobe Creative Cloud, Protector of The J-Ro, Lady Regnant of the Twelve Managers, Breaker of Collusion and Mother of Huskies

ea845b6e-d6d8-4fe6-863e-a087ad0e83a7Current state of the J-Ro

CHAMPIONS:
2017 – ???
2016 – mmmbers members
2015 – WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THIS YEAR
2014 – Mochi Goatees
2013 – WhatDaFlip o0hKillEm

League Pick ‘Em Prize Winner:
2017 – ???
2016 – WentzDaFlip
2015 – JulioBoykinAllDay
2014 – JulioBoykinAllDay
2013 – mmmbers members

SACKO HALL OF FAME:
2017 – ???
2016 – (+)Cuffing Season(+) (does Chandelier video)
2015 – WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THIS YEAR
2014 – Jacquizzin my pants (changed license plate to SHIVA)
2013 – TribeOfRedCorn (bought next season’s potluck food)

PICS

If you have pics you would like to contribute, please email me!

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The J-Ro in his natural habitat??

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FAQ (and other tidbits)

WHY SHOULD I TAKE THIS LEAGUE SERIOUSLY?

Well, for one, you definitely DO NOT WANT TO BECOME SACKO. You will be ridiculed and humiliated throughout the year and the punishment will indubitably be embarrassing. With that said, this league is also seriously fun! Hopefully, as part of the league, you will enjoy the camaraderie, the trash-talking (which is highly recommended and crucial), and the unnecessary stress during the entire football season. If you do not participate as often or attend events as much, expect consequences! It’s all part of the fun.

HOW IS SACKO DECIDED? 

At the end of the regular season, the team with the worst record is the Sacko. In the case of a tiebreaker, the team with the lowest point total is the Sacko.

HOW IS SACKO PUNISHMENT DECIDED?

Before the beginning of each season, the managers will discuss potential Sacko punishments and come to an agreement to a Sacko punishment. The commission will create a contract for all to sign before the start of the draft. Example.

HOW IS DRAFT DIBS ORDER DECIDED? 

Positions 1-6 are decided through the consolation bracket. The winner of the bracket is 1st while the runner-up is 2nd, and so on. Positions 7-12 are decided through the consolation bracket. The eventual champion will be 12th, the runner-up is 11th, 3rd place is 10th, and so on. Draft dibs does not determine draft order, but allows for managers to select their draft position for next season’s draft.

WHAT HAPPENS IF I CAN’T ATTEND THE DRAFT?

It is required that all managers physically attend the draft since it is offline. In the serious case that you are unable to attend, please contact the commissioner as soon as possible!

In your absence, these are your options for drafting:

  • You may appoint a person as your substitute drafter (with commissioner’s approval),
  • You may give the commissioner your cheat sheet, or
  • You can attend the trade electronically.

There will be consequences for not joining the draft. This will be decided by the group of managers that are able to attend the draft.

LEAGUE REFERENCE OF WORDS AND PHRASES

Ballsacked (verb): to be cheated out of something.
Collusion (noun): the act of secretly coordinating a conspiracy against another manager in order to cheat (see: Pat). Synonyms include Rapisan, Rapisangate.
Joey-ing
(verb): the talking down of one’s own team but has a winning record or eventually ends up winning their H2H matchup, you bamma.
The J-Ro (noun): Refers to the league’s coveted championship trophy.
J-Ro Blast (verb): The act of screaming or chanting or any other form of loud verbalization of “J-Ro” in act of worshipping or giving penance to the league trophy. One may also shout the real J-Ro’s full name as loud as you can. Hint: The initials are JBF.
Michelle-ing (verb): drafting based on looks.
Paula curse
(noun): A curse put on by Paula that causes a team to lose multiple games in a row. Alternatively, “when you fuck with Paula and your team loses bc [sic] of some fucked up voodoo Paula puts on your team.”
Rapisan /rāpizän,rāpizôn/ (noun): the act of trade-raping another manager. Or, according to the person who this term is referring to, “truthful and honest trade that benefits each team.” Origin of term: Waldorf, the greatest city to exist, ever.
The Sacko (noun): Derived from the FX series ‘The League,’ refers to the league season loser.

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